Dorothy Parker Quotes

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

Q: What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can’t hear an enzyme.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.

The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.

Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.

I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.