Funny Happy Fathers Day Quotes

Funny Happy Fathers Day Quotes by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, John Walter Bratton, Lord Chesterfield, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Hicks, Timothy J. Russert and many others.

A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to

A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
John Walter Bratton
As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless.
Lord Chesterfield
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’
Bill Hicks
The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.
Timothy J. Russert
A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma.
Marlene Dietrich
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
Jim Valvano
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father.
Lydia M. Child
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
Phyllis Diller
To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter.
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
George Herbert
Choose a career you love and you will never have to go to work.
Denis Waitley
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.
Enid Bagnold
When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.
William Shakespeare
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
William Shakespeare
When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, “She’s more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge.”
Helen Hayes