Funny Men And Women Quotes by P. J. O’Rourke, Fanny Fern, Charlotte Whitton, Sacha Guitry, Groucho Marx, Jo Brand and many others.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
The way to a man’s heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.
Sometimes the way to a man’s heart is through his talleywacker.
Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.
If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.