Funny Valentines Day Card Quotes by Thomas Szasz, Henry A. Kissinger, Blaise Pascal, Mort Sahl, Lynda Barry, Judith Viorst and many others.

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
The bravest thing that men do is love women.
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods.
Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
I’m tired of love; I’m still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time.
There’s a certain part of the contented majority who love anybody who is worth a billion dollars.
The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?