Funny Valentines Day Card Quotes

Funny Valentines Day Card Quotes by Thomas Szasz, Henry A. Kissinger, Blaise Pascal, Mort Sahl, Lynda Barry, Judith Viorst and many others.

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attribute

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
Thomas Szasz
No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
Henry A. Kissinger
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
Blaise Pascal
The bravest thing that men do is love women.
Mort Sahl
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Lynda Barry
One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
Judith Viorst
The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods.
Theodor Reik
Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Jay Leno
I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Robert Orben
I’m tired of love; I’m still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time.
Hilaire Belloc
There’s a certain part of the contented majority who love anybody who is worth a billion dollars.
John Kenneth Galbraith
The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
Albert Ellis
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
Pearl Bailey
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Segal
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
George Bernard Shaw
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
Ann Landers
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Dorothy Parker