Two And A Half Men Quotes

Two And A Half Men Quotes by Anthony Jeselnik, Chelsea Handler, Angus T. Jones, Jon Lovitz, Sara Gruen, Lizzy Caplan and many others.

Charlie Sheen called his boss on 'Two and a Half Men' a

Charlie Sheen called his boss on ‘Two and a Half Men’ a ‘Jew ki**’ and expected to go back to work. That’s crazy. If you could do that and keep your job, then everybody would do it.
Anthony Jeselnik
Britney Spears’ album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We’re in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we’re at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
Chelsea Handler
Without qualification, I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on ‘Two and Half Men’ with whom I have worked and over the past ten years who have become an extension of my family.
Angus T. Jones
How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.
Jon Lovitz
Do you have any idea how much an elephant drinks?
Sara Gruen
I think if a girl who liked ‘Party Down’ found out that her boyfriend liked ‘Two and a Half Men,’ she would break up with him.
Lizzy Caplan
It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, until you lose.
Lanny Bassham
It’s called Two and a Half Men,” Dermot was telling his guest. “I understand,” Bellenos said. “Because the two brothers are grown, and the son isn’t.” “I think so,” Dermot said. “Don’t you think the son is useless?” “The half? Yes. At home, we’d eat him,” Bellenos said.
Charlaine Harris
If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I’m on Two and a Half Men and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it. Please stop filling your head with filth.
Angus T. Jones